Tuning Into Kids teaches parents and carers skills in emotion coaching.

Tuning in to Kids® is an evidence-based, emotion-focused group parenting program originally developed by Professor Sophie Havighurst and Ann Harley in 1999 based on the work of John Gottman. Adaptations of the program include Tuning in to Kids®, Tuning in to Teens™, Dads Tuning in to Kids™ and Tuning in to Toddlers™.

Emotion coaching as defined by John Gottman is a way of responding to emotions that can help children to understand, regulate and work through their emotions so that they manage their behaviour and respond in socially appropriate ways. In particular, the program teaches parents to notice children’s emotions, especially before emotions have become overwhelming for the child. Parents and carers are encouraged to accept, validate and empathise with their child’s emotions, help reflect upon or name the emotions being experienced, and if necessary, assist the child to work through the emotion and problem solve.

When parents and carers respond to children’s emotions in ways that validate and accept emotions but still guide them with appropriate behaviour, children learn important skills in emotional intelligence. Over time children use these skills in all aspects of their lives. Emotional intelligence helps children to be more resilient so that when they face challenging experiences they can talk about their feelings and work through these experiences. Emotional intelligence helps prevent mental health problems, learning these skills can reduce mental health difficulties if they are occurring.

Human emotions are central to communication and connection. It is not until we communicate at the level of emotions that we feel close connection. All emotions serve a function and provide us with important information about ourselves and our environment.  Emotional connection is central and important to our well-being and optimizes life outcomes.

We view children’s ‘challenging behaviours’ as a sign that they are struggling with understanding and regulating emotions and that they may need our help.

When we connect to children’s emotions using empathy/responding in a way that allows them to feel understood, it is calming (sometimes referred to as co-regulation), and this allows children to learn skills in emotional competence.

Behavior problems are often reduced or stop when emotional acceptance and understanding occurs – this is what our studies have shown. 

We build on the strengths that parents already have.

We recognize that every family is unique and that parents/carers know their children best. We encourage them to use the ideas from the Tuning in to Kids® programs that work for them and their family.

TIK teaches parents and carers skills in being aware of how they express their own emotions when parenting. Parenting (and life) can be emotionally challenging at times, and many parents benefit from reflecting on the ways they cope and manage their emotions. Children watch and copy how the people who raise them express emotions and so it is an important part of what benefits children. By learning to use emotion coaching skills, many parents and carers find their children talk to them more, want greater contact with them, and share more of their emotional experiences with them.

At Nurturing Parenthood we offer the programs in group form but can also offer 1:1. We run the programs either online (telehealth) or face to face. In 7 weeks with 2hrly sessions run once a week I can help you learn the skills of emotion coaching.

Anna Meijerink is a certified and qualified facilitator of Tuning into Kids, Tuning into Toddlers and Tuning into Teens programs